[ Why bother? Good question. It would take him a heartbeat to piece together artful bullshit for an answer. If there's is anything BK201 excels at, it is the ability to sustain complex lies. Except the other thing he excels at, apparently, is his spectacular failure to either forget this girl or win her back. All his attempts to so far have ended in carnage and disaster. ]
[ Sometimes the literal type. ]
[ So he goes with: ]
I want to return your things.
[ You know: ex-girlfriend spoor. Clothes. Toiletries. The extra set of keys. That silly blue toothbrush with its mustache-shaped holder. The enormous foil-wrapped burrito bowl occupying three-fifths of the space in the fridge. ]
[There's nothing he has that she actually needs. She's already replaced the clothes, and that toothbrush & holder was 99 cents. There's nothing she misses ... except him.]
You know my address.
[By which she means just mail it to her, but the phrasing is ambiguous. She's doing a terrible job of not engaging.]
[Well fuck, the little witch is coming over. Sometimes Damon wonders if she's a witch or a superhero, because her Disapproving Stare should be considered a superpower. He wants to tell her no, stop, don't bother, he really does not want her Disapproving Stare's company at all, but texting her that would be so much effort. And it wouldn't work. Occasionally — very occasionally — Elena can be made to see reason. But Bonnie? She operates strictly by her own internal code. Trying to stop her is like trying to stop a volcano. A stubborn, quiet, incredibly attractive volcano that just wants to protect people.
God she's so annoying.
He reaches into the liquor cabinet and grabs another bottle of whiskey. He's not drunk enough for any of this.]
[ So: UPS? Delivery in-person? He can't tell. Hates the way a jumble of letters on a screen can stall his brain. Hates too, the opacity and one-dimensionalism that goes hand-in-hand with technology. Hei is good at dealing with people on a personal level. It's never words he's interested in, but their subtext. It's in the spaces between the delivery, the nuances of voice, body-language, expression, that you learn a target's weak-points. ]
[ Not that Korra is a target. But he's spent so long defining anyone beyond his team's sphere as such, that the distinction barely matters at this point. ]
[She's late, because she's always late even when she says she's on her way over. In hindsight, she should've waited another ten minutes to tell him, but she arrives at that front door and knocks on it.
Normally, she'd barge in and berate some life choices. Normally, she also wouldn't be so concerned. Whatever's got him in this foul a mood can't be good.]
[He's decided to just not answer the door, except his traitorous legs have already walked him over, and the hand not distracted by his liquor bottle is on the handle. (Why is he surprised? Everything betrays him in the end.)]
I think you've got the wrong house. The bachelor party is that way. [He gestures vaguely in some direction.] I didn't order any strippers.
[A very very tiny part of him feels a little bad about insulting her like that. Another part reminds him of all the lovely strippers he's known, some of whom he hadn't even killed. But mostly he wants her to go away because he's having a pity party and two's a crowd.]
[She should tell him to just mail it, or say she won't be home so just leave it at the door. This? All of this? Is the absolute wrong thing to do, and she knows it because they've danced this dance before. Never quite like this — their other breakups have basically been petty arguments in comparison — but this is how it happens. They argue, she decides never to see him again, he sends her a message and she's drawn right back in.
So instead of doing the smart thing, she's waiting for him at 5 o'clock. Determined to make this the last time he invades her life (and knowing that it won't be, because nothing about him is ever that easy).]
[That would've almost been funny. Almost, because his mood must've been terrible for that kind of insult. She raises her eyebrows at him, before allowing herself into the Manor. God, it smells like bourbon, bourbon, and more bourbon.]
They couldn't afford me anyways.
[She pauses, turning around to face him. More seriously, because she's tired of their game,] What happened?
[You may be tired of the game, Bonnie, but that doesn't mean it's over. Damon has spent over a hundred years hiding his feelings in biting sarcasm and bitter humor. He doesn't really have any other way of processing them ... Well, unless you count liquor and blood victims.]
What happened? Well, you texted me, I texted back, you decided to come over and here you are. I thought I was supposed to be the blackout drunk. Don't tell me you're going senile already. You humans, you lose your minds so fast...
[She'll play along and huff and puff, even if her mock disgust doesn't reach her eyes. There's genuine worry as she glances down at that bottle.]
It's also a little early to be blackout drunk. [She thinks. In Mystic Falls, it's hard to tell.] I don't know about vampires but us mortals usually wait until after dinner.
[He can't help a bitter laugh, because that's probably the biggest lie he's ever told. He waited a hundred and fifty years for Katherine. He's been waiting for the past X years for Elena. Waiting like a pathetic lovelorn idiot is his one great talent.
That's not even why he's upset tonight, though it is a nice angst-cherry on the misery sundae. (Worst sundae ever.)
He shakes off the thoughts and takes another swig of the bourbon, only to find the bottle empty.]
I'm going to open another bottle. Do you want a glass, or will we pass the bottle between us like tweens who stole one from their parent's liquor cabinet?
She can't find the heart - or the energy - to say it out loud. Instead, she says as she heads over to the nearest couch and flops on it,] We can pass the bottle. But no spinning it either.
[Not that he'd think about it when they've got big Gilbert-shaped reasons (and a town to save, usually on Thursday evenings). Old Bonnie would've loved to drink and drink and pass out on some hot guy's couch, but this Bonnie's concerned more for her friend.
Maybe she should admit that she considers him one, when she's not so worried about his Mood.]
[Her response takes him a little by surprise — he's always considered her a bit of a goody-two-shoes.] Why Miss Bonnie, I do declare! [He waggles his eyebrows suggestively before grabbing another bottle from the liquor cabinet. Opens it, takes a swig, then passes it over to the younger woman.
The best way to avoid having her poke into his open wounds is to just not talk, but Damon has never been good at silence. He needs chatter and noise to keep from drowning in his own mind.]
Bit unusual, having you for a drinking partner. Don't tell me you have guy problems. [Has he ever actually seen her with a guy? Jeremy hardly counts.] Or girl problems — no judgements.
[ He's prepared to treat this as a job. No different from a bang-and-burn operation -- everything tough and efficient and mess-free. Just ring the doorbell, hand her the cardboard box of things, then go. No chitchat, no lingering. He doesn't have to be controlled by wayward impulse. Command over every iota of your -- (sentiments?) -- impulses may be an illusion. But Hei has always controlled himself largely by refusing to do anything but exactly what he wants to do. He isn't a gawking teenager whose voice has just cracked. There are always things he can do to create the right outcome. ]
[ Which outcome is that, exactly? ]
[ He stops at Korra's door and feels a renewal of ... (nervousness? anxiety?) ... something, as if passing that threshold and being enclosed in her space is like being submerged in volatile and unsteady headwaters. He is either going to float, or drown. ]
[ Shaking it off, he narrows his eyes. His calm knock isn't a lie. But neither is it the perfect truth. ]
[Her eyes light up at his suggestion before she remembers, she's supposed to protect him from himself. Accepting the bottle, she takes the tiniest of sips. She can't exactly drink her sorrows away when she's still mortal. And you know, underage.]
Stranger things've happened around here. [She shrugs, handing the bottle back to him like it's no big deal. It totally is, because she's usually not drinking at this hour.] Mm, I've got a bit of a guy problem. More like a... friendship problem than a romance problem, but it's there.
[So the little witch does like to party ... even if she's not letting herself. The things you learn about people when you're not arguing about Caroline or killing people to protect Elena or magic or ... all the other things they argue about. Although Bonnie doesn't argue so much as avoid and Stare Disapprovingly, like she's the only actual adult in their whole group of ... people bound together by attachments so complex, it makes the alliances that led to World War I look simple.
Anyway. He doesn't know why he's filing that information away. There's a long list of women Damon can use to forget his problems and Bonnie is very much not on it. The women he gets involved with invariably betray him or just end up dead, and Elena would never forgive him if something happened to her favorite witch. Wait, no, best friend ... Elena isn't like Katherine, who played the good friend when it was convenient but really just wanted to use them. Elena genuinely cares about her friends, even when it seems she's forgotten about them.
Thankfully she starts talking and gives him something to focus on other than the mad swirl of his thoughts. He practically cuts off the end of her sentence.]
BOR-ING! [Glugs, then passes the bottle back to her.] Come on, gimme something with a little juice. This isn't the Babysitter's Club. [He sighs dramatically and throws himself on the sofa.] But fine, if you must. [gesturing for her to take a seat] Tell me about your "friendship problem".
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Damon Salvatore | late season 2 | OTA
Date: 2016-03-12 08:14 pm (UTC)Rey
Date: 2016-03-12 08:21 pm (UTC)Korra | Book 4 | OTA
Date: 2016-03-12 08:30 pm (UTC)Judy Hopps | OTA
Date: 2016-03-12 08:33 pm (UTC)/leaves here for you and flees giggling
Date: 2016-03-16 03:43 am (UTC)k;las;dj hahaha
Date: 2016-03-16 01:15 pm (UTC)Don't engage, Asami had told her, but Korra has never been good at not responding when provoked.]
Then why bother texting me?!
no subject
Date: 2016-03-16 11:35 pm (UTC)[Because there's no way to sum up "I don't want you to leave but I also don't want to admit you're attractive because of Elena-shaped reasons."]
Besides, an automatic response app? Seriously?
no subject
Date: 2016-03-16 11:54 pm (UTC)Still seems like a good idea, actually, because he's drunk and In A Mood.]
Sorry, that is not a valid response. Please try again.
>3
Date: 2016-03-18 01:51 am (UTC)[ Sometimes the literal type. ]
[ So he goes with: ]
I want to return your things.
[ You know: ex-girlfriend spoor. Clothes. Toiletries. The extra set of keys. That silly blue toothbrush with its mustache-shaped holder. The enormous foil-wrapped burrito bowl occupying three-fifths of the space in the fridge. ]
[ Oh wait. He already ate that. Oops. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-18 02:08 am (UTC)You know my address.
[By which she means just mail it to her, but the phrasing is ambiguous. She's doing a terrible job of not engaging.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 02:54 am (UTC)A.
BTW, I'm on my way over.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 03:15 am (UTC)God she's so annoying.
He reaches into the liquor cabinet and grabs another bottle of whiskey. He's not drunk enough for any of this.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 04:02 am (UTC)[ Not that Korra is a target. But he's spent so long defining anyone beyond his team's sphere as such, that the distinction barely matters at this point. ]
[ Which is why all he thumbs out is: ]
I'll drop by at 5.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 04:52 am (UTC)Normally, she'd barge in and berate some life choices. Normally, she also wouldn't be so concerned. Whatever's got him in this foul a mood can't be good.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 12:57 am (UTC)I think you've got the wrong house. The bachelor party is that way. [He gestures vaguely in some direction.] I didn't order any strippers.
[A very very tiny part of him feels a little bad about insulting her like that. Another part reminds him of all the lovely strippers he's known, some of whom he hadn't even killed. But mostly he wants her to go away because he's having a pity party and two's a crowd.]
at some point we'll have to figure out why they're fighting
Date: 2016-03-23 01:32 am (UTC)So instead of doing the smart thing, she's waiting for him at 5 o'clock. Determined to make this the last time he invades her life (and knowing that it won't be, because nothing about him is ever that easy).]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 03:30 am (UTC)They couldn't afford me anyways.
[She pauses, turning around to face him. More seriously, because she's tired of their game,] What happened?
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 04:02 am (UTC)What happened? Well, you texted me, I texted back, you decided to come over and here you are. I thought I was supposed to be the blackout drunk. Don't tell me you're going senile already. You humans, you lose your minds so fast...
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 04:45 am (UTC)It's also a little early to be blackout drunk. [She thinks. In Mystic Falls, it's hard to tell.] I don't know about vampires but us mortals usually wait until after dinner.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 04:53 am (UTC)[He can't help a bitter laugh, because that's probably the biggest lie he's ever told. He waited a hundred and fifty years for Katherine. He's been waiting for the past X years for Elena. Waiting like a pathetic lovelorn idiot is his one great talent.
That's not even why he's upset tonight, though it is a nice angst-cherry on the misery sundae. (Worst sundae ever.)
He shakes off the thoughts and takes another swig of the bourbon, only to find the bottle empty.]
I'm going to open another bottle. Do you want a glass, or will we pass the bottle between us like tweens who stole one from their parent's liquor cabinet?
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 06:25 am (UTC)She can't find the heart - or the energy - to say it out loud. Instead, she says as she heads over to the nearest couch and flops on it,] We can pass the bottle. But no spinning it either.
[Not that he'd think about it when they've got big Gilbert-shaped reasons (and a town to save, usually on Thursday evenings). Old Bonnie would've loved to drink and drink and pass out on some hot guy's couch, but this Bonnie's concerned more for her friend.
Maybe she should admit that she considers him one, when she's not so worried about his Mood.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-23 01:38 pm (UTC)The best way to avoid having her poke into his open wounds is to just not talk, but Damon has never been good at silence. He needs chatter and noise to keep from drowning in his own mind.]
Bit unusual, having you for a drinking partner. Don't tell me you have guy problems. [Has he ever actually seen her with a guy? Jeremy hardly counts.] Or girl problems — no judgements.
he probably killed someone she knew... again... 8'')
Date: 2016-03-24 04:25 am (UTC)[ Which outcome is that, exactly? ]
[ He stops at Korra's door and feels a renewal of ... (nervousness? anxiety?) ... something, as if passing that threshold and being enclosed in her space is like being submerged in volatile and unsteady headwaters. He is either going to float, or drown. ]
[ Shaking it off, he narrows his eyes. His calm knock isn't a lie. But neither is it the perfect truth. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-24 05:41 am (UTC)Stranger things've happened around here. [She shrugs, handing the bottle back to him like it's no big deal. It totally is, because she's usually not drinking at this hour.] Mm, I've got a bit of a guy problem. More like a... friendship problem than a romance problem, but it's there.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-24 07:17 pm (UTC)Anyway. He doesn't know why he's filing that information away. There's a long list of women Damon can use to forget his problems and Bonnie is very much not on it. The women he gets involved with invariably betray him or just end up dead, and Elena would never forgive him if something happened to her favorite witch. Wait, no, best friend ... Elena isn't like Katherine, who played the good friend when it was convenient but really just wanted to use them. Elena genuinely cares about her friends, even when it seems she's forgotten about them.
Thankfully she starts talking and gives him something to focus on other than the mad swirl of his thoughts. He practically cuts off the end of her sentence.]
BOR-ING! [Glugs, then passes the bottle back to her.] Come on, gimme something with a little juice. This isn't the Babysitter's Club. [He sighs dramatically and throws himself on the sofa.] But fine, if you must. [gesturing for her to take a seat] Tell me about your "friendship problem".